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Bodyguard
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 1337
Location: The Collective
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Posted: Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:24 am Post subject: Something funny from Scrapplface.com
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Frisco Mayor Ousts Schwarzenegger
(2004-02-21) -- San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom today ousted California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger after the governor tried to order the mayor to stop violating state law by granting marriage licenses to homosexual couples.
"I have impeached Gov. Schwarzenegger and found him guilty," said Mayor Newsom. "He must vacate the governor's office and residence immediately."
In related news, the mayor replaced the U.S. Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals with a panel of federal judges who are committed to accomplishing from the bench what liberals have failed to do through Congress and state legislatures.
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kanaka
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 933
Location: roaming...
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:09 am Post subject:
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And this from The Onion:
"Day Job Officially Becomes Job"
HILLSBORO, OR—Another human dream was crushed by the uncompromising forces of reality Monday, when the restaurant day job of 29-year-old former aspiring cartoonist Mark Seversen officially became his actual job.
.... full story
... hmmm... that story seems to have a familiar ring. I wonder ...
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kanaka
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 933
Location: roaming...
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 3:38 am Post subject:
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... and away from politics ... hold on to your stomach:
Thieves steal bridge in Ukraine
Thieves in western Ukraine have dismantled and stolen an 11m steel bridge over the river Svalyavka. ...
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Bodyguard
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 1337
Location: The Collective
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 5:24 am Post subject:
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I saw that one from the Onion....it was a hoot!
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GoodFella
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
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Location: A little bit sideways!
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 5:40 am Post subject:
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WOW,
Great job my Ukraine friends! ~GoodFella
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Bodyguard
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 1337
Location: The Collective
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:14 am Post subject:
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(2004-02-23) -- Churches across America have bought up all of the theater tickets for the rest of this year's showings of the new Mel Gibson film The Passion of the Christ, so that church-going Christians can enjoy the movie repeatedly.
According to one denominational official, "pagans can wait until it comes out on DVD."
"We see this film as the greatest missionary tool in a generation," said one unnamed denominational official. "It's too good to be wasted on the 'lost', the pagan non-believers. We're going to use the movie to prove to church members that Jesus is Lord and, more importantly, that He's a blockbuster hit and just as cool as any other celebrity. Christians don't have to feel like freaks anymore."
"Once they see the movie," said an unnamed pastor of a small Illinois congregation, "they'll finally realize that what they've heard in church all these years is really true."
Licensed merchandise for The Passion is flying off the shelves of Christian retailers. Among the most popular items, a button that reads: "I Believe in Jesus...Now Showing at a Theater Near You."
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GoodFella
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 2400
Location: A little bit sideways!
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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2004 6:36 am Post subject:
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| Bodyguard wrote: |
(2004-02-23) -- Churches across America have bought up all of the theater tickets for the rest of this year's showings of the new Mel Gibson film The Passion of the Christ, so that church-going Christians can enjoy the movie repeatedly.
According to one denominational official, "pagans can wait until it comes out on DVD."
"We see this film as the greatest missionary tool in a generation," said one unnamed denominational official. "It's too good to be wasted on the 'lost', the pagan non-believers. We're going to use the movie to prove to church members that Jesus is Lord and, more importantly, that He's a blockbuster hit and just as cool as any other celebrity. Christians don't have to feel like freaks anymore."
"Once they see the movie," said an unnamed pastor of a small Illinois congregation, "they'll finally realize that what they've heard in church all these years is really true."
Licensed merchandise for The Passion is flying off the shelves of Christian retailers. Among the most popular items, a button that reads: "I Believe in Jesus...Now Showing at a Theater Near You." |
I don't believe in elves, leprechauns or Jesus Christ.
I'll wait for the DVD I guess. ~GoodFella
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