Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 64
Location: Canada
| Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 4:43 am Post subject: Workplace relationships | |
I just recently ended a relationship with a fellow employee at my store. I find it exceedingly difficult at times to deal with the sh*t that comes with this situation. In a microchasm like a retail store, you have so many dynamic personalities, most of which are starved for attention. The "lifers"(those who make this a career) just seem to thrive on the rumor mongering that happens with a break-up. There are 45 year olds acting like junior high schoolers. I even had a co-worker come up to me and berate me for 5 minutes on what a horrible person I was for trying to avoid my ex.  This has been happening for the past 3 weeks, everyday surprising me more than the last with the gall of these crazies. Now some may say I was a fool to even pursue a relationship at work, and I take the point and understand your viewpoint. But at the same time, I wouldn't trade the experiences I had with this individual for the world.
There's gotta be tons of you guys out there who have gone through similar situtuations. Lets hear em!!! -NAz |
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Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 1964
| Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 7:04 am Post subject: | |
| Exactly why nobody should get involved with a coworker. Too much crap that could happen. I knew on woman the went as far as filing a sexual harrassment complaint against her ex. Nothing came of it. She ended up quiting. | |
Administrator
Joined: 30 Jun 2003
Posts: 1010
Location: over yonder
| Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 7:57 am Post subject: | |||||||
And because of that, the rest of what you've said should not matter whatsoever. --
Although I often answer the same, I do believe that there are exceptions to that rule. Or, rather, exceptional people able to handle the situation appropriately.
Was the complaint legitimate? |
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Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 1415
Location: Indianapolis, IN
| Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 1:03 pm Post subject: | |
| NAz - how much berating did you receive when you began this relationship or during the time you were happy in the relationship? - how long did this "relationship" go on? - the norm in a broken relationship, outside from work, is the people are generally separate/apart in both business and personal - there are no opportunities to run into each other except for the opportunities you create for yourselves - the usual settling of debts, picking up personal items, returning personal items - it is for the reasons you are experiencing that personal relationships are frowned upon in the workplace - are either of you married? - to each other or someone else? - in any case, if you want to dance, you have to pay the fiddler | |
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 64
Location: Canada
| Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 3:59 pm Post subject: | |||
We were a couple for 10 months. There was never any problem with co-workers telling us what to do until I actually broke up with her. Neither of us were/are married. We were extremely close and for the most part, while we were together, I feel we handled the stress of seeing each other constantly quite well. At our work, relationships are not frowned upon as much as other places. In fact, there have been many cases of people trying to make it work. Maybe this is unique to our store, but I never felt that my managers were trying to discourage the relationship.
 --I wish it didn't matter to me, but what can I say, I dislike people probing into my affairs.
-NAz |
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Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 1964
| Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 6:06 pm Post subject: | |
| Slek, to answer your question about if the complaint was legitimate, the answer is no. She was spiteful because the relationship ended and wanted to get back at the guy. I really felt sorry for the guy because he is actually decent. But, as a rule, I never get invovled with a coworker because of something of this nature. Also, there is a point where you have to get away from that person for a period of time. Otherwise, you go nuts. | |
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 420
Location: Somewhere between here and there...
| Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 9:15 pm Post subject: Re: Workplace relationships | |||
From my own personal experience, things were awkward at first. I think mainly because I was dumped,and that was the first and only time in my life that had ever happened to me. It didn't help any that his new girlfriend hung around him all the time either, but it didn't last long. Eventually the awkwardness went away and things went back to normal. Nobody ever gave me shit for dating a co-worker. Everyone who knew about us thought he was an asshole for what he did to me. Just give it some time, NAz. |
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Administrator
Joined: 30 Jun 2003
Posts: 1010
Location: over yonder
| Posted: Mon Jun 14, 2004 10:37 pm Post subject: | |||||
Ahh, but that's the trade-off. That's exactly the sacrifice you willingly made when you decided to mix business and pleasure. And I suspect that you mixed the two openly if not flauntingly. Personally, I think it's a small price to pay, with little lasting consequences, for 10 months of wonder. Oddly enough, however, my own experience in this regard was quite a bit different. I found that people, although inquisitive, were very understanding, supportive and, most importantly, empathetic. ***
An argument could be made that people who get involved with co-workers are already nuts!
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Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 1337
Location: The Collective
| Posted: Tue Jun 15, 2004 1:00 am Post subject: | |
I agree 100% with the post above....believe it or not.
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