Joined: 06 Jul 2003
Posts: 8380
Location: Central CA
| Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:02 pm Post subject: New Financial Sector Terms | |
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From the Wall Street Jackass: http://wallstreetjackass.typepad.com/raptureready/2008/07/new-stock-marke.html
CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6-18 mo. period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER -- What my broker has made me. STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected. MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use. |
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Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 422
Location: Somewhere between here and there...
| Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 6:32 am Post subject: | |
 Good one!
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