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Magnolia
Joined: 26 Aug 2005
Posts: 1457
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 9:49 pm Post subject: Why Older Chicks Rule... By Andy Rooney
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Article has been edited to be authored by Frank Kaiser, not Andy Rooney.
Why Older Chicks Rule... By Frank Kaiser (edited)
This is for all you girls 40 years and over....And for those who are turning 40, and for those who are scared of moving into their 50's...AND 60's....and for guys who are scared of girls over 40!!!!
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Frank Kaiser (edited) says:
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As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy other women.
Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.
A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.
For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage. |
Last edited by Magnolia on Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:04 am; edited 1 time in total
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sleK
Administrator
Joined: 30 Jun 2003
Posts: 1010
Location: over yonder
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Posted: Thu Apr 20, 2006 10:03 pm Post subject:
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Classic!
Is this Andy Rooney for real or a hoax?
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USA#1
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 1967
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Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 1:07 am Post subject:
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I've watched Andy Rooney since I was a kid. He's a riot. What he says here is so true. 
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kava
Joined: 05 Jul 2003
Posts: 83
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Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 2:05 am Post subject:
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| Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage. |
 That made my day.
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bc5yr
Joined: 24 Feb 2005
Posts: 479
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Posted: Fri Apr 21, 2006 3:55 am Post subject:
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How true., 
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kanaka
Joined: 04 Jul 2003
Posts: 916
Location: roaming...
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Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 3:00 am Post subject:
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| sleK wrote: |
| Is this Andy Rooney for real or a hoax? |
Door #2
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Baltimore Sun writer Susan Reimer contacted Andy Rooney, who told her:
"It just bugs me that anybody would put my name on something I didn't write," said Rooney from his New York office. He's been the object of this kind of hoax before, and another, he said, had just crossed his desk.
I asked him if he shared the author's affection for older women, and he said, "Not particularly."
In October 2005, in his weekly 60 Minutes commentary, Andy Rooney said this of the piece:
A saccharine collection of comments called ‘ANDY ROONEY ON OLDER WOMEN’ has had wide circulation. I was pleased by how many people wrote to say they didn't believe I wrote it.
The true author, Frank Kaiser, had this to say about the misattribution:
I actually wrote it in 2000 but about a year ago [i.e., in 2002], I started seeing it come back to me in e-mails attributed to Andy Rooney. It didn't bother me too much. That's sort of the nature of the Internet. I wrote him and made a joke about it and he called me. You know, he's just as cantankerous on the phone as he is on the air.
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Magnolia
Joined: 26 Aug 2005
Posts: 1457
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Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:05 am Post subject:
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I had my suspsions too. Thanks for the correction Kanaka.
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happy_camper
Joined: 18 Mar 2005
Posts: 245
Location: 3rd coast
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Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:37 pm Post subject:
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Well, whoever the author is, I certainly enjoyed it.
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